Nikita Shchiruk: People in vain are afraid of autists

After the publication on our portal of fragments of the book the 21-year-old autist from Moscow Nikita Shchiruk has woken up the well-known.

«It is very pleasant to me. I today all day answer questions and I add as a friend. But I was not so tired. I am glad», – he has written on the page in the Facebook.

«Nikita, thanks for friendship. My daughter has autism, it 20 years. I would be happy, if she thought, as you …»

«Your daughter thinks not worse, than I. It is important to ask correctly a question» …

Those who ten years waited, but has not waited these words from experts, will not be surprised, having learnt that Nikita on the Facebook has almost 3 thousand subscribers.

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– Correctly asked question it is very important, – Nikita explains at my request. – It should be formulated accurately, exactly and unequivocally. Without double understanding. And that it was not necessary to finish thinking that from me want. I was not able to do it. Now has a little learnt to finish thinking …

«I have autism, but I do not suffer it. I live»

– Itself I am surprised to such number of subscribers. Did not expect. Why I was necessary for all of them. Yes, at those who lives with the autist, the same problems, as at us. Psychologists want to understand better. I too explain to them, as well as parents. But they badly understand me, and parents understand very quickly. And party-goers subscribe — because autism a fashionable subject. I know.

Yesterday, the fifth time for the life, has watched the film "Rain man". Mother has asked to express my opinion. The first time looked, understood nothing. Only has learnt that I am an autist. And yesterday completely looked consciously. If to compare to me, such as Raymond, I was till 10 years, with special attachment to a program schedule and the schedule. I can confirm the words told by Raymond in reply to a question of the doctor: «You suffer autism?» «Is not present. I think, is not present», – Raymond answered. I as have answered.

It is the feature film. And in life all not absolutely so. All feature films about autists are not absolutely realistic. In them plots that it was interesting to look all are added. It the feature film differs from the documentary. In the American feature film always happy-end. Here and in life so.

«On the 5 anniversary to me have presented the tape recorder»

«To us have told, such never will take»

– Disability at Nikita since four years, – is told by Olga Shchiruk. – It has early children’s autism. In this diagnosis at me never was and there is no doubt.

Nikita in time, healthy was born: 9 of 10 points on a health scale. However, a place of the inoculation made right after the birth and the navel of decay stuck by inept hands the whole month. And the dream was very bad. The son became blue sometimes even if has fallen down in a carriage on air. The doctor said that at large children such happens.

Nikita has sat down in time, has started talking separate words. Has gone, often tiptoed, waved a hand as wings, touched fingers. It did not frighten me. And here when he after a year has become silent, and has absolutely become sad, it has strongly guarded.

Doctors assured again: anything terrible, will start talking later.

And alarmed Olga noticed all new strangenesses for the son: Nikita spread pictures in a row and refused flatly to communicate with children. It seemed that he at all does not notice people. It completely had no fear: could run under wheels of cars, go anywhere, without paying attention, someone is near or not.

– Till three years we tried to consult with all problems together with the husband. But Nikita’s father has not sustained such life, we with the son have left to my mother. In the country in the early nineties there were big changes, was to nobody to us business. I earned additionally, where only it was possible to find work at some o’clock.

With Nikita nobody wanted to remain, he was absolutely uncontrollable child. Only I could consult with it. In kindergarten it have not taken: have told, such never will take.

«I have thought, if I will not consult, there will be at once two ruined lives»

– Psychiatrists appointed a large quantity of drugs, and Nikita with firmness drank them two weeks. More I could not give it them: was intolerable to see that occurred to the child.

My cheerful son who adored the animated cartoons, infinitely repeating loved «патусаси» ("fantastically"), has turned into the heavy patient. At it a fountain vomiting opened, there were infinite diarrheas from these drugs: they have completely ruined to it a gastroenteric path.

Olga more has allowed to "treat" to nobody the son for autism. And all the others of Nikitina diseases which was much, was treated by ordinary doctors from district clinic. And Olga approached to their recommendations selectively.

– To us suggested to remove, for example, аденоиды, to pass profound inspection under the general anaesthesia. I did not doubt that it will ruin it. It is better to live with аденоидами, than the general anaesthesia. I know it on myself: I had a clinical death in 19 years, from an anaesthesia. Watched the body from outside while doctors restored me to life.

Yes, I asked myself questions, for what to me it and why such destiny has got to me. There was no everything – supports, the help, money, possibility to lay down in hospital and with someone to leave the son. It remained one, and I after operation, on receipt to the doctor, left in the evening home.

It was very offensive, what even the closest people did not understand me and did not support. But if at me Nikita was not born, as though I treated such children? Likely, as well as my relatives.

In 27 years I have thought that, probably, life is presented to me twice not simply so. I am obliged to grow up the son. And if I will not consult, two lives, my and its will be ruined at once. And time they are given us, we will live them interestingly and with pleasure. I tried to develop in every way Nikita, to give it joyful emotions.

Nobody understood, why to spend the last money for the tape recorder for the five years’ child, tetrises, hours, alarm clocks, lamps – everything that it was interesting to it. I well remember myself years from three, all the children’s offences and troubles. Here also tried, that at their Nikita was not, that his memory has kept as much as possible the positive.

«Nikita has learnt to answer questions, communicating with teachers in Skype»

In school, as well as in a garden, Nikita have not taken. Olga has issued the son at all on the nadomny – on family training. That is has charged one itself with all responsibility for its preparation. Without having neither pedagogical education, nor experience of training of children with autism, access to information saved up today on the Internet. Was not at them then neither the computer, nor the Internet.

– With training it was very difficult, – it does not hide. – At first I achieved, that Nikita has understood that from it it is required, then we tried to be arranged under the school program. But it at all is not suitable for the autist.

Nikita very persistent, in it his plus and a minus at the same time. He precisely knows, that wants. It has a congenital good taste and literacy, memory of large volume. He forgets nothing and is able to notice absolutely imperceptible details.

With handwriting at the son awfully: he cannot be read. At a certain stage it was necessary for it to write down all the plans and thoughts, and he used up a large quantity of writing books. Here and has learnt to write the stories.

On papers, Nikita had no right distantly to study at I-school for disabled children because was on family form of education, instead of on the nadomny. And I had to be fidgety and do a bit of travelling in education departments while has achieved that to Nikita have allocated the computer equipment.

Additional education at I-school on the Internet – the huge help and real support of such children. Communicating with teachers in Skype, Nikita has learnt to be polite and it is correct to answer questions.

«The first book of the son was unsuccessful. It about policy»

– I consider, Nikita has neither endowments, nor uniqueness. It simply corresponds to the autism. It has now the 2nd group of disability: completely independent the son can be never.

Stories are a vital need. Nikita was on the verge of despair when after the termination of the 11th class there was one, absolutely without communication.

The son since 2011 writes. Exactly year did not admit me to the creativity on a step, all written hid. And then it has failed: to its first book, on a political subject, have refused the publication.

Only having endured this storm of emotions, Nikita has allowed me to the texts. I do not rule them, only sometimes I advise to it to clean superfluous details about our private life. At first he argued, but having received positive responses, has ceased.

He still likes to write about policy, but I do not advise to it to write these texts. It for it is unsafe.

In the summer we have found the Center of problems of autism on the Facebook, have read posts of parents full of despair … There was a time of holidays, and we have decided that we will prevent nobody, if we will publish pair of stories.

Participants of group have treated Nikita and his creativity with a great interest. There was a set of questions, after all Nikita – one of few autists in the world which can tell about the feelings and thoughts in detail. Friends on the Facebook have advised to Nikita to collect answers to questions and to write the book. Nikita at first has refused: it already had an unsuccessful experience, and once again to test the same emotions it did not want.

– Later the son has passed to the page in the Facebook, – Olga continues. – We wanted to collect all stories in the electronic book, to lay out free of charge for all, and to specify the account number for those who wants to help Nikita. Have aggregated stories, have imposed, as could. But in attempt to fill in the text on a page the book has disappeared. It was necessary to restore it. Just at this time Nikita on the Facebook was found by the correspondent of a portal NOT the DISABLED PERSON. RU …

«Nikita has dragged negative responses on a desktop»

To me have got not only good, but also negative responses on the publication "Neinvalida". Pier, both mother bad, and texts primitive.

Nikita has dragged them on a desktop as a reminder that people different, and all have the right to the opinion.

People, really, different. Nikita, for example, surpasses some contemporaries in intelligence, but be guided on the street cannot. Communication with people for it can be dangerous because it remained childly trustful and open.

It is very necessary to create in the country support system for such, as my Nikita. Me upsets that in our country it is not present.

We live on Nikita’s pension and my grant in 6 thousand rubles, I have no privileges, at the son the 2nd group of disability. Once a year from this grant I am obliged to pay a tax for the flat. I in this country anybody. I am not a disabled person and yet the pensioner. My work it is not visible. Nikita’s father considered that I am a drone because I do not work. And the state as considers.

To mothers who only realise the diagnosis of the children, I want to tell one thing. Present that your life is the whole beautiful apple. Divide it into four equal parts. One part is you, with your health and beauty. The second part is your husband. The third part is children, not important, one or three. The fourth part is your friends and relatives.

I am firmly sure what to pay attention to all four parts it is necessary in equal proportions. Unfortunately, I have understood it, only having lived the life.

«Publicity does not strain me. And mother has got used to a shame in 20 years»

Nikita, in unison with Olga, asks mothers not to turn the life into continuous fight against autism:

– I advise to mothers to be quieter, become cheerful. To think of the good. To awkward age the condition of mother is very strongly felt. And then already it is less. I do not know how to communicate with autists. All of us different. The main thing – attention, understanding.

And still Nikita asks to trust not too both to myths existing round autism, and "horror films", like that autists test baseless scares and aggression attacks. To trust the child, to be interested in his inner world, to learn it to speak about feelings.

– I do not test causeless emotions. The fear at me happens before at me something has turned out. I am afraid that can it will not turn out conceived. And a rage – after something has not turned out.

If I laugh, I remember something cheerful. If I pay, I remember something bad. At children’s age it is difficult to explain it. I could explain it only in 20 years, and that because me have asked. And earlier did not ask. People are afraid not only autists, the height, a thunder-storm are afraid of dogs, addicts, alcoholics. People are so arranged. They are afraid also of us too.

As to the book written by Nikita, the huge number of volunteers and already four publishing houses have offered a family Shchiruk the help.

– The Vykhod fund reads my stories, maybe, will help me. I do not want, that the book was the road. Nobody will buy it. It is not enough money at mothers.

It would be simpler to me to live, as earlier – quietly to write stories and not to answer one thousand questions. But it is necessary, as I need to build the house in which I will live without mother. For this purpose it is necessary to find friends autists similar to me and money.

Publicity does not strain me. And mother has got used to a shame in 20 years. Many times threatened to change a surname. But now it suffers, because it is important. Also helps me, and that I would not consult. So many subscribers! I am afraid, I will not justify hopes. Big responsibility.